Funny Conversations #2

It's true kids really do say the darnedest things.  Here are some of our conversations lately:

Ayden

Let's face it we live in the country...we have mice from time to time.  I hate them and they hate me and we are both fine with that.  So this funny started with one running across the floor.

A:  AHHH! A mouse just ran across my bedroom floor. 

Me:  Okay I'll go get Daddy and tell him to come look.

A:  This is so embarrassing.  There is a mouse in our house.

Me:  I know it.  Since we live out in the country sometimes they get in the house.  It'll be okay, Daddy will kill it.

A: (in her most dramatic voice)  They are so gross and nasty and stinky and they have really big backs.

Ayden is going to be 5 in a couple months.  She is probably the most dramatic 5 year old I know.  I don't know many but wow can she put on a show.  So all of these were her lovely attitude that is giving me a glimpse into what puberty could be like...except I know it'll probably be worse.

A: Can we go to Starbucks and get a chocolate milk?

Tye: No, not tonight. 

A:  But we need some.  We are so thirsty.

Tye:  We didn't eat that long ago.  You will be fine.  It's late and time for y'all to go to sleep.

(We were on our way home from church)

A:  Nobody can sleep without chocolate milk.

A few minutes later....

Ayden starts crying and I ask her what's wrong.

A: I don't have anywhere to rest my elbows. 

This day Ayden was having a hard time obeying what I ask her to do. 

Me:  Ayden, I will not ask you again.  Do it now.

A:  Mom, do you know why I have had a hard day?

Me: No why?

A:  Because you are speaking Spanish and I don't know that language.

Tye has been planting so I've been putting the kids to bed.  Usually they tell me goodnight and all go into the boys' room to pray and sing.   This night I did Tye's routine with them.  

Me:  Would one of you like to pray or do you want me too?

Both said me so I pray.

A:  (jumps down when I say amen and hugs me)  Mom that prayer just made me cry.

Me:  Why Aydee Bug?

A:  Your prayers to God are just the sweetest.

Ryan

This isn't a conversation but he calls elevators "alligators" and we don't correct him.  He is so cute!

In the car on the way to church.

Me:  I'm going to close my eyes for 5 minutes.  If you have to say something talk to Daddy.  

Ryan:  Nobody talk to Momma.  Nobody scream and nobody move their hands.

He tells me everyday "Momma your tummy is gettin' bigga."  He likes to talk to the baby and he likes to talk about the baby.  He thinks he is having a brother and he wants to name him peacock or Mike. 

Ryan: Where is your baby?

Me: In my tummy right here.

Ryan:  How did it get there?

Me:  God put it there.  God gives us babies.  God gave us you!

Ryan:  But how does it get there?

Me: (starting to fumble my words)  well God just puts it in there.

Ryan:  With his hands?

Me:  Yes.

Ryan:  Does he have a magic wand?

Me:  Ummm, well no not really.  He just gives us babies in our tummy. 

(I would just like to add Tye is here for this conversation and is laughing and staring at me.  He doesn't ever step in to help.)

Ryan:  I know how.  He just puts it in your mouth and it goes down your throat and then lives in your tummy.  

Me:  Yep!  I bet that's it.  

Ryan:  Then it just pops out and we have new baby.

Me:  Yes, that's exactly right.

Ryan has a bunch of one liners too.  Here are a few:

"I'm going to go pout."

"Do rattesnakes go to sleep and eat breakfast?"

"Ayden won't marry me so I'm going to spank her."

"I'm almost as tall as Shell."

"I don't want to wear lotion because I don't want my skin to be soft.  I want it hard like my Daddy's."

Watching Ayden's dance recital and a ballerina does a solo dance.  

Ryan in amazement.  "How does she do that trick?"

He prayed in Bible class.  When Mandy (his teacher) told me I was so very proud of him.  That's a big deal for a 3 year old to pray in front of his peers. 

Mandy:  Ryan you said a very good prayer.

Ryan:  I pray like my Daddy does.

And yes Tye and I both teared up!