Funny Conversations #3

These are some of the reasons parenting is so FUN!  

Ayden

I cried lastnight when I was in bed.

Me: why?

Because someday I'll go to college and move out.

Me: Why did you cry?  College is so fun!

Because I just love y'all to much to move out.

MOM, I just lost my pet beetle in your car!

Me: WHAT?

I found it at school and put in my backpack.  I was holding it and it fell and now I can't find it anywhere.

Me: Oh dear.

I just love Sydney so much.

Me: She loves you so much Ayden.

When we are 100 years old I'm still going to love her and call her on the phone and let her kiss me.

Can I feed Sydney her lunch?

Me: No, let me do it because her food it really runny this time.

(Starts immediately crying) I just wish y'all would treat me like an adult.

Ryan

I had to poop so hard I couldn't breathe.

Me: Yikes, that's bad.

It's okay Momma it happens all the time.

Ryan, quit petting your burger and eat.

You know those Cheetos that you gave us a long long time ago.

Me: Ummm, yes.

We found them and ate them and they STILL tasted good.

Me: Wow Bubs. 

(Ryan needs to poop)  Mom I've got to take my shirt off.

Me: Why?

Because it's long and I have to hold it up in the back and my arms get really really tired.

(He still takes his shirt off to poop almost every time.  We don't let him in public!)

 

Myles

Jesus has a spankin paddle in Heaven Ryan.

Mom, you look beautiful!

That bird has mean toes.

Me: Who unrolled this entire roll of toilet paper?!

I did it.

Me: Why did you do that Myles?

Because there was a wasp (it was a moth) on the floor and I was trying to kill it like you do Momma.

Me: Myles I'm so sorry I flushed your poop. 

Is it gone forever?

Me: Yes, it's gone forever.

Oh no!!  (crying)

Me:  You'll make more poo poo and I promise I'll never flush it again unless you want me too.

These are some things I've caught myself saying and I'll leave them to your imagination who I said them to:

Where did that poop come from?

QUIT licking your sisters carseat!

Did you just bite that?

What are you chewing on?

Did you just swallow that?

WHAT is that smell?

Who used this entire container of soap?  

Why is there is a sword in my freezer?