I've been wanting to do a blog post about our sweet little #4. I get my blog made into books about every year and a half so our kiddos can look back on what we did when they were growing up! So I wanted this wonderful pregnancy to be apart of the book. It speaks volumes that I am just now getting around to doing it. This pregnancy has gone by waaay to fast. I have been trying to enjoy every little moment of it because I know it will be my last. I felt very sick at first, more like with Ayden than with the boys. I have been extremely tired (as all pregnant ladies are) but with this one its just been worse. I know its because I don't get to "rest" as much as I probably should or want to but that's perfectly okay! I'm busy taking care of my other three sweeties and I love it. Ayden, Ryan and Myles have been very sweet about "the baby in my tummy." Ayden is very into her babies and sometimes walks around with her baby under her shirt because she has one in her tummy too. I'm not sure most four year olds have seen their Momma's belly with a baby in it more than they hadn't. Ryan and Myles are excited about a new brother or sister. Ryan will talk to the baby and when he sits with me will ask if he is hurting the baby. He is so very sweet and will be a great big brother once again. Myles hops all around on my belly and doesn't have a clue what's going on. Haha...he will have his world rocked soon enough:)
20 weeks
Our 28 week sonogram. This little sweet thing is so precious! This may sound crazy but "it" really does look like the other kids. I just can't wait to find out if it's going to be a little Sydney or Wylie!
30 weeks.
I have been very lucky to not have had any medical problems so far. My feet just swelled really for the first time this past weekend. We went to the zoo and then to White Sands. So I wasn't surprised at all when we got back to the camper and my ankles looked huge!
I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have another sweet little baby to add to our family. I love being a mother. I know that it comes with incredible responsibility. It's funny because when people see us in public they ask our kids ages and most of the time we are met with smiles and a "wow." We didn't really intend to have our children so close together but we did. There have been people tell me "I don't know how you do it" and honestly I don't either. It's not a choice I wake up and make. I get up every morning and take care of my kids...isn't that what all mothers do...or are suppose to do?
When they fight we handle it, when they don't sleep we get up, when they are sick we clean up whatever may be coming out, when they need love we hug and kiss them until they run away. It isn't always easy or fun, but it's definitely worth the effort. I'm thankful for parents and friends. So when in a moment of weakness I can turn to people for advice. People that I know love the Lord and love my children. Tye and I were talking about this new little person about to join our family and how its going to change the dynamic. Just when we have one or two or three down we add another to the mix. Haha...and I'm not quite sure we have three down. I'm not nervous and I'm not even worried about sleepless nights or endless hours of crying because I know those things are fleeting. What I'm worried about the most is will I be enough, will Tye be enough? We already feel like we are worn thin sometimes how can I possibly have enough to give to another sweet soul?
After endless hours of talking about this to Tye we have come to a conclusion...it'll come from somewhere. I know a lot of Moms who struggle with this so this is what I got. I am incredibly hard on myself, almost all the time. I want to be the "perfect" mother and that just doesn't exist. I may not always have the right answer or react the right way but I'm trying. I'm trying to everyday show my kids that I love them and that love comes from God. Its the only kind of pure love I can show them. So when this little one comes I'll probably lose it, I'll probably be so overwhelmed that I go to my room and cry when Tye gets home, I'll probably discipline out of frustration or anger when I know I should've done different, I'll probably feel like I'm neglecting someone from time to time BUT we will be okay. We will have to ask for help in times of frustration and we will have to get advice. We will love this one just like we do the others and we will get a new normal. So for those who have ask what my plans are or how I'm feeling about this new little one that's it...I feel overjoyed and I feel in love and I feel like a new definition of chaos may present itself at my house but we're ready!
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