Sydney is 3 years old today. My last little baby, my sweet little girl is 3. I don't know why it's been hard for me today. I didn't struggle when she turned 1 or even 2 but for some reason I've had a lump in my throat all day.
It started last night when we were putting her to bed. I was talking to her about it being her birthday today. I ask her if she knew how old she was going to be and she held up her little baby fingers, half painted with pink polish chipping off, the number 3. I acted like I was going to cry because she's growing up and she said "Momma, are you sad." Knowing that she didn't quite understand I said no I wasn't sad I just wanted her to stay my baby. She said "Momma, I'm going to be 3 but I can still be your baby."
What she doesn't know is that her Daddy and I love her more than she could ever understand.
What she doesn't know is that I prayed for her before she was born. I
didn't know I'd get a girl and I didn't know it would be a girl as
wonderful and fun as her but I prayed for a baby that would make our
family complete. I prayed for a baby that would bring something to our
family that we didn't have. What she doesn't know is that God blessed
us more than we deserve by giving us her.
What she doesn't know is that as she is falling asleep I like to watch her rub her Ellie's arm with her fingertips and make a sweet little sucking motion with her mouth.
What she doesn't know is that I buy bananas, strawberries, peanut butter and Pop-Tarts at the store just for her.
What she doesn't know is that her siblings love her just as much and give up things...things that they want or things that they have just for her. Just so she will be happy, just so she won't cry.
What she doesn't know is that she makes my whole world better. Even when she's sassy, even when she doesn't like the clothes I picked out, or the shoes or the way I put her hair in two ponytails instead of one, or the fact that nobody else wants to watch Peppa Pig, Trolls or Blaze for the 50 times we love her.
What she doesn't know YET is how God made her perfect. He gave her Jesus and that will make her perfect. What we will always tell her is that we love her, God loves her and she will never have to go a day thinking otherwise. My little girl, my last child is growing up but she will always be my baby, the baby of our family.
Last night before I left her room I kissed her sweet smelling, chubby cheeks. I took off her smudged little glasses and I stared at her sweet baby face. I kept thinking of this quote over and over.
"Let me love you a little more before you're not little anymore"
Sydney Marr Mason, we are so thankful you are our daughter and we can't wait to watch you be THREE!
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